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Page 16 of 20.
As tight as a duck's arse
As tight as a fish's arse
As tight as a mouse's ear
As tight as a newt
As toey as a Roman sandal
As ugly as a bag of spanners
As ugly as a hatful of arseholes
As useful as a G rated pron flick
As useful as a bucket under a bull
As useful as a cunt full of cold water
As useful as a dead dingo's donger
As useful as a drover's pup